Preparations

"I was in this house the day you were born
I spent several days afterward watching you, and wondering
You were small, and full of life, and you needed me

I taught you everything I knew
How to walk, how to tie your shoes, how to read and write
When you were old enough, you followed me everywhere

Then things changed, and we were separated
We found happiness where we were able
Even if it never felt complete, something missing

You returned to this house, a truce made
And we had a chance to correct old wrongs
To be the people we felt we should be

And now things have changed again
Neither of us is who we thought we were
But it has given us a chance at a new beginning

What won't change...

I am still here for you, as I have always been
For you, and the children we will have together
We'll make this house a home again
Something it hasn't known since we were children
This is my promise."

Simple words, witnesses, and wine shared. I didn't ask anyone to officiate, because we had the Ubar of Cos, the Admin of Port Cos, and an Arian Magistrate all present. I had no wish to start a political incident, and there were far more people present than I had expected to come. I gave Bonnie a tea house, no small feat considering I had to have it constructed almost overnight on the area by the pond, a small bridge linking where it stands, and the rest of the garden.

We're on Cos, doing a great deal of pacing about, and waiting. Pierre and Sydney were kind enough to remain, so that Sydney could help Bonnie. Bonnie's uncomfortable, and I do what I can by way of massaging her back and getting her mind off things, but I know she doesn't sleep well. I plan to let her catch up when Julian is born, something that should be happening any day now. We're both tired, and I can tell she's anxious, but I don't think we've ever been happier.

Meaning

"Ah, the Ubar of Cups. A wise card, calm and diplomatic. Too, it is a caring card, one that shows tolerance. A man who can balance the needs of many, as well as can diffuse a tense situation. One who accepts the limitations of others and allows them their freedom. There is charity work, and compassion for the less fortunate. A man who never seems nervous or tense...There is no need to reject a helping hand. You are a man who commands respect, but not love. Considerate and responsible, ambitious as well as a skilled negotiator. A born manipulator, someone who rises to power using his brain, not his brawn. The Ubar avoids taking people into his confidence and often works in secret. He is a seeker of power and often distrusted or feared by those around him."

"If that one confuses you, this one will confuse you even more."

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"The Sardar. A card of action. It is a card of abundance, senses and nature.

This card represents mothering and nourishing life. Expressing tenderness and harmonizing with natural rhythms. It is a symbol of female authority, productivity and creativity. The Sardar represents abuandance in all things. Companionship, fertility and wealth, all flourish beneath her stewardship. Good luck surrounds you if your concerns involve coin, companionship or fertility. Any endeavor over which a woman has creative control will have a favorable outcome. Look for unexpected gifts.. or blessings."

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Fate was still staring at him, wondering if her cards were.. broken.

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"What is there about this one that should confuse me? I ask, because I am wondering what it normally represents, and it makes perfect sense to me whereupon it might not to you in the present, in this context."

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"It is a card of motherhood. Of giving birth. A maturing of the personality. It can mean many things, perhaps something coming to fruitation, but it is the combination of cards that confuses me. All the cards represent a similar action.. even this one...The Ubara of Coins. Again, a card of nurturing. Of creating a warm and secure environment. Too, it is a card that whispers of a bigheartedness. One who has a way with children. One who handles problems matter of factly. This card represents a woman...Actually, now that I see them all side by side, they all do. There is a calmness in this layout, a sereness a.. oneness. A love of grand personal displays. A love that is strong and protecting in nature. I see a time of quiet contentment with life. She, the Ubara, represents an atmosphere of warmth, trust and security. She is trusting by nature, while others trust her.. completely. And she is loyal to the end."

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"The Entertainer of Wands. It represents unclear aims, avoiding the

consequences of one's actions. Depression. Moodiness. This is a card who

loves luxury, but only help make her feel better. Again a card of moodiness.

Though she has onest qualities, they may turn to petulance.

A person unable to keep a confidence. This card warns you to beware of flattery from a false friend. I think we are talking of two women, here, two that

are in your life. Two that have meant much to you. This woman is clearly a manipulator who tends to be shallow and ...and emotionally unstable."

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Again, he nodded, because it made perfect sense to him. He thought that the same could not be said of Fate, and so for once, he lined things up so she could. It was a gamble, but she had been informally adopted, and done much for those of the rest of the family. "I still don't know who the male is, in the first card. I would like to say it's me, but I think we both know it's not." So he pushed the card off to one side, and pulled down the next two. "These are Bonnie. She's pregnant. It's mine. Hence some of the previous readings you gave me no doubt, because we had more than a few obstacles to overcome, including..." And here he drew down the last card in the group. "...a woman from my past that I thought I might have a future with. It did not work out, so we come back around." Or so was the way he saw it, and looked upward again now to see if that computed in her brain. "Bonnie not being my sister, we are free to no longer worry about certain issues that would have come up." Yes, deplorable morality, he knew. Such was his life:

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Fate thought on that for a moment, nodding, the pieces generally fitting together. "The first card, the Ubar of Cups." Back went the telling finger to touch the tip of card, revisiting. "I see many of these traits in you. Calmness. Whether you realize it or not, you always exude a certain quiet, one that other's would think of as composed. Diplomatic. Now here I would have no idea how you run your business, but when I see you, I see a man who listens to both sides of a story before making up his mind. Tolerant and caring. That I see everytime you pick up Charm, or you give her a gift. Fatherhood.. well, now that one is pretty obvious now. This card often denotes a man with brown or hazel eyes, tan skin, dirty blonde.. or dark brown hair. And seeing that it has been matched up with the Ubara of coins, it's mate.. Bonnie's card, well, it all makes perfect sense to me. And congratulations by the way."

That Is Wrong

"I am sorry, but that is wrong." I've noticed she nevers uses conjunctions when speaking.

"As you suspected, your father was Zamalan, but

not hers. He had met the Carnalas when he first

arrived in Ar, but their minds were similar, so the

family was spared. Alliances were agreed upon."

-

"Your mother looked much like Madaline,

so I am not so surprised about his labeling Bonnie's

mother his muse. Zamalan was once very prosaic;

it is why I was so taken aback when I found out about

his activities in Ar. It was so unlike him. Your mother

passed away when you were born, and when he

disappeared, I must assume now back to Ar, you were

brought to the other branch of the Simons to live.

Bonnie's mother and father were glad to have

a son to inherit the property, you see."

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Yes, I can well imagine Madaline being pleased not to have to ruin her figure by bearing another child in the hopes of having a son. How much more practical to have one delivered straight to her doorstep. I have to assume that what she wanted, however, isn't quite what she got. Hence at least of the reason for the plots and schemes surrounding the shots. Make me forget. Make Bonnie dependent. How nice for Madaline.

Betrayal

My motions are controlled, the

muscles too often betraying me,

are kept in tight form, away from the

eyes of the staring, eager crowds. This

treachery is not for them to know or see.

Resulting web of tension underlying

my skin, my mind, is then given up

in too-fleeting moments with you, to

see what you will make of it. Satin

blushes and fevered pitch questions.

More, you ask, and it seems it is always

there to give. Where the tendons and sinew

of my own body will not allow me freedom, I

am able to feel it release into you. The dark

eyed and hourglass design of you raised.

Even when no one else understands.
And because no one else has to.

Pulse

I've lost them both. I don't know what to do. There is only one thing keeping me aware, one thing keeping me awake, one small pulse of life surging still for which I would do anything.

Family

a-dul-ter-y [uh-duhl-tuh-ree] –noun, plural -ter-ies.
voluntary sexual intercourse between a companioned person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse.

Bonnie..."What did she do to us Lucian?"

"I don't know."

Breathe.

"Did you ever wonder how

we came to have our coloration?

All of father's family had brown hair

and eyes, all but him...Perhaps they met

at the ceremony, and she was fascinated

by him. It would explain why certain traits

did not show up in father or grandfather."

But they are in me.

Zamalan...'Madaline, my muse'.

Tal Madrias,

I need you to conduct a more thorough search of the school, and the houses of any of his past associates. Something is missing, but I don't yet know what it is. I believe it goes without saying that the letter should be delivered to me personally. My sister is not to know of this. If anything should happen here, I will send her to you.

Regards,

Lucian

Lucian,

I am ok

for you

to hurt me.

-Your XXXX

It is my special gift.

Regret

"The Ace of Swords...card of truth, justice, fortitude and...cognition...reversed. There is confusion, ignorance and faulty diagnosis. A violent, self destructive temper. An intellect that gets in the way of finding solutions. Headaches could be present. Sometimes foggy thinking. There is violation, overkill and domination. The Warrior of Coins...card of cautiousness and thoroughness...the card of a man who knows what he wants, and hold back nothing to get it. The Eight of Wands... card of quick action, a conclusion and news...reversed. Quarrels, hasty actions that are regretted. There could be a foggy situation where the right action is anyone's guess. There is confusion, and soon you will find that all your arrows are spent, you left empty handed and still at a loss. This card warns not to make any hasty actions, for those actions will only bring about negative results...Beware of recklessness. Ten of Swords...card of bottoming out and ruin. It can also be a card of a victim mentality, or... martyrdom. It denotes a final choice. A destruction, a defeat. Again confusion is laced in this card. There is a decision to be made, and once made, there will be no turning back. This, paired with your last card, also whispers that now is not the time to make that decision. It could mean failure and ruin in all that you know."

Z

I can feel hands on my thighs,
but I don't turn my head yet.
The soft warmth of her mouth
closing over me, and the curl of
her tongue sliding up the shaft
to then contour and bring me in
more securely. The small noises
from the back of her throat, and
the sensation of her dark curls
against my skin. The scent that is
uniquely her filling my awareness
so that I told hold of the sides of her
face and keep her directed toward
her task...

"crave...your work".

"...whether he understands it or not..."

1, 2, 3

"regret nothing"

She's whimpering now, unable to
speak, so I pull her back and she
begs with her eyes, her parted lips.
I draw her up as I roll my shoulders
off the couch, sliding my hands down
to catch hold of her waist her hips. She
sinks upon me, her head falling back.

4, 5, 6

"Yours, Madaline"

My face is buried in her hair,
the pins are strewn about.
Her hips roll, keeping her in that
self-imposed rhythm as my breath,
teeth, and fingers ply themselves to
peaks mirroring, in their hardened state,
the length of me upon which she plunges
herself. Twisting, writhing, moaning,
kneading, tasting, gasping
for breath.

7, 8, 9

Tears are coursing down her cheeks,
and just as she begins to reach that
place of bliss I tell her no. She sobs,
and with the few final thrusts I sate
my own needs, leaving hers to continue.
Drawing out, my hand takes over,
touching her surely, but barely. I am
behind her, covering her with part of
my body, yet leaving her more naked
and exposed. She shudders. My hand
edges out, giving a final course to that
one, single point.
Needy.
So close.
Aching.
I tell her to sleep,
knowing she will not
reach that state
again for some time.

I roll over, dazed, and see daylight
coming through my window. The
ahn seems later than normal, and
I look upon the waterclock sitting on
my desk. It is


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